I AM BAME and I AM DIFFERENT
The point of this post is not to depress you, but to prepare you that unconscious bias and discrimination IS REAL. Accept that you are BAME and be prepared for when not if, you will be treated unfairly. I have wasted my naive years denying that I am different instead of adapting in order to:
not to be overlooked for promotion at work,
be taken seriously if I had a complaint,
not be taken advantage of.
When I look back on when I was a child, I remember experiencing unconscious bias all the time. I knew when a teacher just didn’t like me because I was not white predicting me a lower grade than one I’d eventually achieve. Or when a swimming teacher deliberately didn’t award me 60 laps when I’d done 70. However when my parents told me they picked on me because I was not white, I would deny it. There was a part of me who knew they were right, but also a part of me that denied it because I didn’t want to accept I was different.
I never understood why my dad got mad so easily when someone slighted him. He would often say he it was because of of his ethnicity that he was picked on. I would try to calm him down by persuading him the person was an idiot, but not a racist one. I didn’t understand the chip on the shoulder and how over time, every slight, every intimidation, every time you’re not taken seriously, it chips away at you ever more painfully.
Now in my mid 30’s, I instantly know why my dad, a school mini bus driver, was told today by his employer to hand deliver heavy boxes of food up many flights of stairs, instead of his contracted job: driving kids to school. They assumed that he would say yes and wouldn’t cause a fuss because of his ethnicity. With ethnic men 4 times more likely to die from coronavirus than white men, this enrages me.
Luckily as an office worker, it’s unlikely my employer can put my health at risk. However as a BAME young woman in the corporate world I have experienced work place discrimination. Unfortunately I know that these experiences will not be the last. This is why I have chosen to share 2 KEY moments of work place discrimination that I have experienced and have learnt from. The quicker we can identify discrimination, the quicker we can learn how to adapt our approach and defenses to prevent ourselves from being set at a disadvantage.
1.) Selection on Teams and Projects
I started work at a high profile company alongside 100 other graduates. You would think that as we were all new we would be randomly selected into teams. NO. My male peer let me know that he was asked by a male manager whether to select myself or another female BAME colleague to work on a particular audit job. Why were we the last to be selected, and worse, why was the manager asking another junior male for selection advice?
It turned out that as I was described as the quieter one I was not selected. Whilst you cannot change your ethnicity and nor would you want to, you can adjust your IMPACT, by making use of your VOICE. Although being quiet or an introvert is nothing to be ashamed of, it does put you at a massive disadvantage for the following reasons:
You’re not memorable, therefore will be overlooked
People think they’ll be able to get away with treating you unfairly because you won’t kick up a fuss.
Therefore if you are quiet, you must MUST push yourself to create relationships and stand out:
If you wish to work on a specific team, request to, or ask for reasons why you were not selected.
Next time they’ll know to select you or provide you with an adequate reason why not. Don’t let people pick you by chance as undoubtedly unconscious bias will play a part. Therefore you need to actively put yourself out there.
Strike up conversations with peers and managers to create relationships. Prepare for small talk topics if you find this difficult.
2.) Selection for Voluntary Redundancy
Even though I had good appraisals and feedback from all of my jobs, I was still selected for voluntary redundancy. 10% of our intake of 100 were BAME, yet 40% of us were selected redundancy. The numbers were so obvious that soon an investigation took place to work out why, just so the company looked like it was doing the right thing. However no decisions were changed, as that would be admitting discrimination.
The lessons I learnt were:
You have to build relationships with people. They will always save Bob they met in the lift than someone who is just a name on a list regardless of whether you were more competent.
You need to be taken seriously if you intend on making a complaint or speaking out.
During the redundancy process we were allowed to set up a meeting with a HR person and Development Manager. Firstly, my development manager never showed up, and secondly the HR person sat there listening to my complains of racial discrimination with a smirk on his face. I could hear his thoughts: “she’s not going to do anything, she’`ll just be angry now, but she’s no one important, she won’t be taken seriously even if she made a complaint”
It was true. I was a 24 year old graduate, I had no status at the company and I wouldn’t be making a complaint. If staying was worth fighting for you need to be taken seriously, and that is by:
Knowing your rights -
Get legal advice and let them know that’s what you’ll be doing - they need to know you are not afraid to escalate.
Speak to your union for advice and support
Document and date everything and do so in all meetings to let them know you’ll be following up - again show you mean business.
Don’t shout but talk louder - it gives the impression that you won’t put up with crap, and you won’t be afraid to talk.
Gain status - the higher you get up the ladder, the more power you will have. This takes time and a lot of hard work and fight, be patient, be active, and always go for opportunities.
This will not be the last fight on your hands , and you can’t fight every fight. Always make sure it’s worth the fight if you choose to do so, remember that when one door closes, another one opens. I left with £10 grand redundancy pay in my pocket to leave an institutionally racist organisation, there was no reason to fight to stay. I moved to a better company on more money and I now earn more money than those who remained there , and more importantly have gained better and broader experiences.
Remember: what doesn’t kill you always make you stronger. I will never forget the lessons learnt from these experiences, it has made me strong. I AM BAME and I am more prepared for the next time.
BE STRONG, YOU HAVE A VOICE.
GOOD LUCK!
