What to Do If You're Being Sidelined By Your Boss
Have the following things happened at work, even though you’ve only had good feedback and appraisals?
A new role is created above you and some of their responsibilities overlap with yours.
An additional role is created that sits along side you and their jobs spec overlaps yours.
Some of your responsibilities are given to someone else.
You aren’t invited to meetings where you’ve been heavily involved in the work.
If you have a good team beneath you, they are encouraged to move to other roles or leave the company by limiting growth opportunities.
Promotional opportunities have been denied and the feedback is lack of experience with no detail or plan to get you the experience required.
Exciting work is given to people who are more junior than you.
Unfortunately your boss may be trying to erode your role slowly, so that they don’t have to plug a big hole when you decide to leave because you can no longer tolerate the situation!
1.) Avoid the impulse to feel demotivated and give up on your good work.
It’s likely your boss is threatened by you and they want you stop being so damn good! By demoralising you they hope that you will enter into submission and stay under the radar, leaving them to feel less threatened. By not performing to your usual amazing standard you will lose self confidence and only damage your own self esteem. Remember the aim of your boss is to destabilise you, so don’t fall for this trap.
2.) Give 200% to the areas you still have control in and shine twice as brightly there.
Think of the episode in Friends when Monica didn’t allow Pheobe to be in charge of any of Rachel’s birthday party arrangements apart from on cups, and Pheobe went and done an amazing job on cups?! It was all anyone could talk about! So If life gives you lemon, make lemonade.
3.) Document the actions taken where you have been sidelined
If the situation escalates where you feel you need to take it to HR you will need to have evidence, something for them to work with. Never forget that your boss is more senior than you and HR will always side more with the boss, unless you have clear evidence of unfair treatment or several examples of actions which consistently paint the same picture. Having a record of all the times you have been sidelined will evidence that you’re not being particularly sensitive about a one off event.
4.) Push back. Professionally air your concerns to your boss and HR.
By airing your concerns to both your boss and HR, you are letting your boss know that you won’t be an easy pushover. You are also officially getting the sidelining action recorded by HR. Subsequent sidelining attempts will have to be taken more carefully.
If you have a gaslighting boss, you may find it difficult to air your feelings because you’ve been manipulated by your boss into thinking that your feelings don’t matter and “it’s about what’s good for the company”. It’s important to remind yourself that your feelings are valid and that you shouldn’t feel embarrassed about how you feel and what you want. Employees ARE the company and if you have been doing a good job your company will need to have a pretty good explanation about why they are diminishing your responsibilities. If there are negative impacts to your development opportunity because of this sideline move, and you’ve been a good performer, the company should be thinking about how to ensure you continue to get development opportunities. If they are not forthcoming with this, make sure you make this point.
5.) Use your free time to engage with other senior stakeholders, expand your role elsewhere unofficially.
Seek out other senior stakeholders and ask if you can get involved, or join a company forum or group. take part in your company mentorship scheme. Be mentored and be a mentor. Take the time to think about where else you can make an impact.
6.) Build on your life outside of work, to keep up your overall happiness levels!
Being sidelined at work can be very distressing, especially if it is stealthy, slow and repeated. The long term goal may be to move jobs. However it can be hard to find another job in the current climate, so you should make sure you build on other spheres of your life and switching off from work. By having a healthy life outside of work, you can keep things into perspective and avoid thinking that the whole world is getting you down. This way you keep open to opportunities and luck will find you.
Good Luck
Women On The Ladder
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