7 Signs you Have a Toxic and Insecure Boss
You may have read that there are many different types of bad bosses. You could have a boss that can get a bit shouty, a bit meek, a bit incompetent, but the worst boss is a boss who is deeply insecure, because their insecurity actually stops them from getting better.
They cannot make a decision
Decisions are only made at the last minute when they cannot delay any longer. This is because they are too afraid of failure, and their mind is in a frenzy thinking about the infinite scenarios where they come out looking bad to their boss. Instead of thinking - if it goes wrong, they will learn from it and deal with it like a true leader, they are stuck in a a vortex of paranoia and inaction.
They want to micromanage everything.
All work must flow through them as the gatekeeper. Only they can delegate work to you, and only they can pass your work upwards, often taking the credit for it in the process. They hate it if their boss talks to you or are in meeting where they can ask you to do a piece of work for them directly, because they are frightened that they will be sidelined. They see your opportunity to shine as a lost opportunity for them, instead of thinking about what bigger and more exciting things they could be doing instead of doing the work someone more junior could be doing.
They try to leave you out of important meetings
If you make a good point or ask a good question in the meeting, others may start to notice you. A strong leader will feel proud of a team member looking good, but an insecure boss will feel that this takes away kudos from them.
They find it hard to delegate
They only delegate at the last minute when they can’t deal with it themselves in time. Again they want to hog the work, as they see that as the only way to please their boss. They don’t see the bigger picture that if they can delegate that piece of work to their team, they will have more time to add value on a more strategic level.
They may try to gaslight you to try and undermine your confidence.
They are so insecure that they feel other’s good performance takes away from their good performance and therefore will feel the need to manipulate you into feeling that you aren’t doing as good a job as you think you are. They will point out insignificant flaws and nitpick, just to prove to their own insecure ego they they are better than you. Read here for ways to survive a gaslighting boss.
They never hire excellent people
They are ultimately too afraid of having an overachiever, because they are constantly afraid of being found out and feel they could be made redundant, when really they would be praised for sourcing and developing good staff.
The better you are at your job, the more they will try to block your progression
The better you are at your job, the more threatened they will feel. They will do anything to prevent you getting kudos from other senior people, not inviting you to meetings, not allowing you to get in front of their boss, dissuade you from going for a promotion, tell you you are not ready, they may start to spread false imagery about your profile, i.e. that you’re a great worker, but just need that tiny bit more experience, “young people these days are ever so impatient and demanding!”.
If your boss does this then you are in for a tough ride, I’m truly sorry. It’s always better to have a boss that just needs to get better at a few things, than an underlying narcissist who is too insecure to look at themselves in the mirror and learn, because by admitting they need to learn they would have to accept they are not good at certain things, and that is unbearable and unfathomable to them.
There are certain things you can do to try and survive or cope, but if you also work in a company which encourages or cannot detect bad bosses then the longer term goal would be to find another job.
If moving jobs is too hard right now in this current climate then read here for ways to try and survive a narcissistic boss. Ultimately you will need to find ways to:
1.) Keep developing your skills even if your boss is blocking your progress
2.) Keep mentally healthy by ensuring you can switch off from work and be grateful for your life outside of work.
3.) Find ways to get on the good side of your narcissistic boss, to stop them sabotaging your career. Survive and play the long game. As long as you keep doing a good job, and document any unfair treatment, you will survive. Eventually toxic and bad employees get found out.
Good Luck and Stay Strong
WOTL TEAM
xx
