Whilst exhaustion and recovery from labour was expected, I had absolutely no idea how much breastfeeding would add to the stress and pain.
For some reason, no one talks about how tough breastfeeding really is. The overriding message is: if it's difficult or painful, you're not doing it properly. But I’d had several different midwives watch me breastfeed and they all confirmed that there was a good latch, yet it was still painful. The truth is breastfeeding can hurt for the first several weeks, but IT DOES get better, your nipples somehow get used to it, and baby is more efficient at suckling. The message that breastfeeding only hurts if you’re not doing it properly, is not only incorrect, but can actually be detrimental, by causing women to stress out believing they must be doing it wrong, and then giving up!
This post is NOT to put anyone off from breastfeeding but to manage your expectations in the first several weeks that it WILL BE PAINFUL AND STRESSFUL, BUT IT DOES GET BETTER!
Before I go onto a list of painful truths, here are some positives on why breastfeeding is great, and if you can keep up with it, there are rewards, but if you choose to do formula instead, that totally makes sense too!
THE POSITIVES
It does get better, especially from week 6.
It’s super cute skin on skin bonding.
You pass on antibodies to your baby. Great if you've had the Covid vaccinations (this was literally the only reason keeping me going at week 3 when I was seriously considering giving up)
It’s cheaper than formula.
It becomes super quick to whip out your boob, which will eventually become more convenient than having to prep and wash bottles. Especially for night feeds.
There are health benefits for the mum too - such as stimulation of the uterus back to normal size, lower chance of anemia.
THINGS THEY DON’T TELL YOU ABOUT BREASTFEEDING
1.) Breastfeeding IS painful, even with a good latch in the first several weeks
Try putting your finger in your baby's mouth and you'll feel how powerful that sucking, pulling and pressing is. Your nipples are not used to that so they will hurt, especially if that is happening to your nipples every few hours. What may be bearable in the first week will be unbearable after 1-2 weeks. I spent the first week in hospital and asked several different midwives on different shifts to check my breastfeeding technique. All of them confirmed there was a good latch. At the time the pain was bearable, but by the next week my nipples were as sore as f***.
If it hurts do get it checked to see if there can be an improvement made to the latch. But if you’re doing everything right, then take comfort in that it just takes time for your nipples to get used to it.
2.) Aside from sore nipples and mastitis, breastfeeding can cause other pains or complications
Abdominal cramps - not dissimilar to period cramps (in the first few weeks), as breastfeeding stimulates the womb to contract and shrink back. A side effect of the contractions for me was also … needing to poo! This side effect lasted a good 4 weeks for me.
Pangs and spasms in the breasts, when your boob is a bit too full and when its about to leak out milk.
Nipple blisters - basically a blister in the nip, you’ll be able to tell it’s one when there is a small white spot on your nipple. It is not immediately obvious, so you need to know what you’re looking for! This was absolute agony for me. Take a warm clean flannel to the nipple and rub it down to soften the skin and the blister to be removed or heal.
Sore wrists - if you’re having to hold the baby at awkward angles, and perhaps if your core isn’t as strong as it should be, you end up using the muscles in your wrists and arms disproportionately to hold your baby, which can cause repetitive strain injuries.
3.) Your boobs may leak (or even spray!)
Whilst your baby is feeding on one boob, the other might leak or start spraying everywhere. Whilst juggling a baby, milk getting everywhere can cause a bit of frantic stress, but I've now come to accept that it’s just a messy business!
Your tops get drenched when your boobs spontaneously let down, so prepare to do a load of your own clothes washing as well as your baby’s! Strappy vest tops have worked well for me, as you can rotate them back to front and is easy access for baby. I personally found it most comfy going braless all day, (wearing tight bras can increase the chances of getting mastitis).
Use breast pads I hear you say? For me they were incredibly itchy and irritable. I’ve tried the Lasinoh reusable cloth ones, which are a better, cheaper and more environmentally friendly option, but they still get itchy once wet. Three months on, my boobs leak a lot less as they’ve adjusted to produce just enough for my baby and one pump a day.
4.) Breastfeeding still costs money
It’s still cheaper than formula, but you can still spend a good whack on breastfeeding. You might buy the following for example
Breast milk bags - Around £8 for 50 bags (Lasinoh), depending on the volume of your supply I was getting through a pack every 2 weeks for the first 10 weeks.
Breast milk pumps - can range ridiculously in price, I chose the manual Haakaa pumps, as my breasts were so leaky, I didn’t feel I needed an electronic pump.
Breast pads - disposable ones cost about £6 for 60 from Boots. I personally found disposable ones too scratchy on my nipples and preferred these Lasinoh reusable ones , not the perfect solution as they do become scratchy when wet. Still looking for a better solution…. let me know in the comments section if you find one.
Breast milk collectors - if your nipples are seriously leaky and you don’t want to waste all that nutritious milk, you could try some collectors, which you wear on your boobs to catch any leaks and then pour out. I tried them, but it was a bit too much effort vs benefit (amount collected) for me to keep up with these.
I’ll do a review of these breastfeeding accessories soon!
5.) You’re tied to your baby unless you can pump and bottle feeds
Your baby needs to be fed every few hours, or even more regularly if they are cluster feeding, so you won’t be able to be separated from your baby for very long, unless someone else can feed with a bottle. However, pumping and bottle feeding may not be as simple as it sounds:
There can be a lot accessories to wash, sterilise and store
There can be milk supply issues
Baby may not take to the bottle. Whilst our baby immediately took to the bottle (he needed formula top ups at the start), once he hit 2 months, he’s been more fussy and is able to reject it!
6.) Anxiety
Don’t underestimate how much stress breastfeeding can add to sleep deprived mums. Anxiety can be brought on from:
The pain and the anticipation of pain, it’s something you know you’ll have dread doing every few hours.
Worries about whether you’re breastfeeding correctly:
Is the latch correct?
Is the baby getting enough milk?
Is my supply drying up?
In my experience the pain does go away. From about 8 weeks I experienced no pain whatsoever, and now its just so cute to watch the baby feed. However, there are continual supply worries, so I try to remind myself that boobs respond to how much your baby feeds. As long as breastfeeding baby as often as he needs, your boob will keep up with the supply, (although of course there will be a bit of time lag). DON’T DESPAIR AND GIVE UP!
If you need feel good helpful reminders, I've been following lactation consultant: milkmakingmama on Instagram, who is amazing for keeping confidence up and shooting those worries down!
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We hope this post gives you a more realistic view of what to expect from breastfeeding in those tough first several weeks. It can be tough, but know it does become a beautiful pain free experience once you’re several weeks in. You’ve got this mammas!
WomenOnTheLadder!
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